Sometimes, we think we are standing up for ourselves (and others) by speaking out against or battling the person or organization that we feel wronged us, hurt us, betrayed us or did an injustice.
Yes, there are some individuals or organizations that need to be held accountable for wrong doing and brought to justice.
However, I think we there are times that we may be fighting the wrong battle and sharing the wrong message.
Because the real battle isn’t “them”. The real battle is about being willing to heal and change ourselves so we can change what’s showing up in our life (or business).
As adults, the reason why that painful experience happened in the first place is because there is something within us that needs to be healed. We are the ones who need to change. When we change our beliefs and actions, that’s when we never have to go through that painful situation ever again.
I also believe there are some situations when something really bad or painful happens to good people and they have no control over what other people do. But we can always have an honest moment with ourselves and ask, “How did I contributed to this painful experience?” (Like ignoring your gut instincts or ignoring the warning signs, or not setting boundaries, or not doing the work, or simply rebelling a little too much, etc.)
But we have the power to avoid many painful experiences.
It all starts with being willing to tell the truth of why that painful experience occurred in our life by asking ourselves…
“How did I contribute to this painful experience happening?” When we take ownership for our part of what’s showing up in our life, that’s when we take our power back. Blame turns us into a victim of our circumstances and what other people do or say. instead of being the power creator that we are and creating what we truly want and deserve to experience.
When we choose to take personal responsibility for our beliefs, actions and the results showing up in our life and we heal ourselves and change our behavior. That’s when the pattern stops and the painful situation never happens again.
That is WINNING the battle!
And the part that really sucks is we will keep having similar painful situations showing up in our life over and over again and it will get more painful each time until we are willing to deal with it and finally heal ourselves within.
I am writing about this because I’ve been there. There was a time when I was stuck in blame and victimhood. I went through painful experiences and hit rock bottom more than once before I finally got the lesson and worked on healing myself. At first, I was sharing the wrong message. But after I figured this out, I changed to my real message. An empowering message.
Your real message or movement
I believe we are not meant to simply share our “victim” story about what “someone did to us” or our “chronic health issue we can’t seem to heal” or whatever it is and rally people around a problem. Instead, we are meant to share our “Victory” story of personal transformation and personal power and rally people around a solution!
The real message you are meant to share is how you healed yourself within and finally solved your painful problem once and for all.
You are meant to share your story about:
- How you went through a painful experience
- The hard lesson you learned about yourself
- How you healed yourself within and finally stopping that situation from ever happening again.
- Then with God’s help, you extended forgiveness for the other person(s) involved and you were able to heal and release your pain, anger, bitterness, resentment, or fear and restore your peace and joy.
- You reopen your heart to receive love and to give love again.
Forgiveness is for our own healing. It’s not about the other person who hurt us really. This isn’t making their actions or what they said, OK. They will be held accountable with God for their actions one day. As we all will be accountable for our actions with God one day.
When you see the situation from a higher perspective, you no longer need an apology to feel better or for closure. You no longer need them to acknowledge they hurt you or caused you pain. You recognize that when other people do things or say things that hurt other people, it’s because they have something that needs to be healed within themselves. And they aren’t even aware of this yet. But you are at peace no matter what.
In closing, I encourage you to be gentle with yourself. It’s not always easy to “see” our stuff and change ourselves so we can change what’s showing up in our life (or business).
You had to go through it first, as painful as it was, so you can teach others how to really overcome it which is by healing within and changing ourselves.
Much love,
April Yvette
www.aprilyvette.com
Speaker / Sales and Marketing Strategist / Personal Reinvention
(Seen on: Shark Tank, ABC, NBC, CNBC, Los Angles Times)
—————————————————————————
What I do:
I help business owners, coaches, consultants and B2B sales professionals
Clarify their message (60 second commercial) and attract clients consistently at networking events using my proven 7 step sales system without being pushy or salesy. My work is practical and transformational.
—————————————————————————–
Recent Comments